You can call me a nerd but never call me a dork
I may be a geek but I put that shit to work
If you call him meek then the kid goes beserk
Just ask all the mods at the forums where I lurk
I call them JD because I'm bomb like a Turk
And it hurts cause I don't have my Carla
I feel burly like I'm Hurley, all I want is a Starla
Even Darla couldn't save me when she had our baby
When I turn to Angelus nothing can phase me
Here, learn what hell is: believing you're crazy
You try to be good and everyone else is lazy
You look to the future but your outlook is hazy
So you're on the 8 ball at this Roadhouse like Swayze
Protecting the night, all that's left is to fight
When you get LOST, you walk toward the light
Thinking you're right always talking about honor
Ally with the doctor and a head case like Connor
Call your tribe Donnor, your party's doggy baggin
Brandon's the reason it'll all turn to fraggin'
Me? Personally, I kinda wanna slay the dragon
Here's the story behind this one. Listening to Beefy's new EP while at the gym, the first two lines came to me. Then I messed around with the next couple while finishing my work out, culminating in the lurker line. On my long ride home, I used all the Abed that I am and started dropping references. The JD-Turk-Carla one got me going, and I loved the Starla rhyme, but what really sealed the deal was when I remembered Darla from Angel. That opened up a whole mess of double and triple entendres as I love the Angel finale and the last line is, "Personally, I kinda wanna slay the dragon." Of course, when you think about dragon slaying, you have to think of Coach from Survivor. It was then I realized that Brandon, Coach's ally in Survivor: South Pacific, is a lot like Connor--afraid he's evil because of his father figure, trying to fight against what he sees as his nature, and becoming a head case because of it. Once again, logically when you think of daddy issues, who do you think of but Jack from LOST? This gave me the perfect opportunity to mock that show's finale while writing a rhyme about a show's finale I loved (Angel). Jack being a doctor made it all come together as Coach and Brandon are allied with a Doctor--Edna.
...and that's how my brain works.