Monday, August 11, 2008

Medical Proof that Men are Evil!

I'm in the last day of a week long visit to my parents' sitting in the kitchen on my computer. My Dad has FoxNews on the TV in the adjacent room. I'm passively listening, ingesting maybe every other word. Or, at least, I am using that listening technique until I hear an interesting phrase: testosterone toxicity.

Neil Cavuto brought a doctor onto his show "Your World" to discuss the recent "early" deaths of celebrities Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes. Cavuto and the doctor were discussing the cause of Mac's death and his chronic condition of Sarcoidosis, speculating whether it essentially aided and abetted the Pneumonia. Within their speculation, I heard them use a phrase I had never heard: "testosterone toxicity." From context I could basically ascertain that it meant men are more likely to die earlier because they have testosterone. Naturally, I was curious as to this claim, seeing as how I'm a dude and all, so I used the wide wide world of web to instantly Google the phrase and found the following website:

http://www.healthandage.com/Home/gm=20!gid2=2824

The most important excerpt follows:

Testosterone toxicity
The long, alarming list of possible conditions caused by testosterone includes: cardiovascular disease, blood lipid changes, erythrocytosis (an increased number of red blood cells), fluid retention, prostate enlargement, prostate cancer, liver toxicity, sleep apnea, enlarged breasts, acne or oily skin, atrophy of the testes, and infertility. We shall discuss the most important of these.


So basically, any physical condition a man can get is due to testosterone. Or maybe, more simply, the condition of being a man is caused by testosterone, and the physical conditions happen after manhood is, um, achieved. Saying testosterone kills men is like saying players kill a team. Yes, every time a team falls apart, it is due to the players, but that is because you can't have a team without players. What caused the breakdown wasn't the addition of the players, but what happens after they have been added. Of course, it's much better for the feminists to talk about "testosterone toxicity" because now they can say men have a toxic substance coursing their body. Yup, men suck. But hey, at least we aren't weak whiny insecure uppity bitches.

1 comment:

Daniel T. Richards said...

Marriage is also the leading cause of divorce.